Vayeshev - Taking Responsibility

It is difficult to say, “I’m sorry,” or admit, “It was my fault.” Human nature often leads us to avoid taking ownership of our mistakes. From the very beginning of the Torah, we see our ancestors shifting blame. When Adam eats the fruit of the forbidden tree, he blames Eve. When Cain kills Abel, and God asks what happened, Cain famously responds, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” 

No biblical character fully accepts responsibility for their actions until Judah in this week’s Torah portion, Vayeshev. 

The portion recounts the story of Judah and Tamar. Judah’s sons twice widow Tamar and is then promised to his youngest son, Shelah. However, Judah fails to fulfill his pledge. Taking matters into her own hands, Tamar disguises herself as a harlot and receives Judah’s staff and signet ring as payment for their encounter. Later, when Judah hears that Tamar is pregnant, he condemns her to death for alleged immorality. At that moment, Tamar produces the items Judah gave her, revealing he is the father and compelling him to acknowledge her righteousness. 

Judah’s response is striking: “She is more righteous than I.” These few words—just two in Hebrew (tzadkah mimeni)—mark the first instance in the Torah of a patriarch fully taking responsibility for his actions. Judah owns up to his failure and admits his wrongdoing. 

What does it take for us to accept responsibility for our actions? Can we find the courage Judah demonstrated when confronted with his mistakes? Judah’s descendants would later ascend to the throne of Israel. Perhaps his self-awareness and humility, expressed in this pivotal moment, helped set the stage for their elevation. 

May we all learn from Judah’s example, finding the strength to acknowledge our errors, take responsibility, and grow from the experience. 

Shabbat Shalom, 

Rabbi Bradley Tecktiel